In the WooWoo Wonderland™

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"You'll come for the social justice and feminism, you'll stay for the exquisite eclecticry!"

Possibly one of the top Witch-feminist-writer-Silent-film-enthusiast-John Waters-worshiping-June-jazzing-glamourbombing-artists in the charmless city outside Charm City!

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People seem to think we can just enter ‘$5 item’ into the register and it will magically guess what they’re buying to put it on the receipt. I especially love when they get pissed at me because they brought up an item with no tag. No it’s not your fault, I don’t expect you to check every single item for a tag, but it’s certainly not my fault either. 


[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.



So I work at a grocery store and our uniform is a red polo shirt with black pants.

Apparently that is also Toys ‘R’ Us’ new uniform.

When I went to buy some Christmas gifts for my niece after work, I had two people who work there ask me if I work there.

But that doesn’t compare to what happened to my coworker. Today she told me that she went to Toys ‘R’ Us right after her shift at our store and a lady continuously asked her questions about where things were. She told the lady she didn’t work there and the lady became so angry that she called the manager and said, “This girl is being very rude and unhelpful. She won’t tell me where anything is and she keeps saying she doesn’t ‘work here’.”



At my store, we sell hand-painted ornaments for Christmas that cost $19.95. One lady came in and picked out two, then when I rang them up she was shocked at the price (like it wasn’t printed on a huge sign just above the display). Then she asked if we could possibly have them made smaller and cost $9.95. Ma’am, it’s not like we blow the glass just out back, you’re just going to have to pick something else out.

This is one of those stories that really sums up retail.


I work in a store where it’s mostly girls working behind the counter. And no, this was not said to us, I’ll explain.  A man came in one day, while there was 4 girls working, myself and 3 others, and that was on his shirt. He stood, waiting for help, and we all ignored him, until we had helped everyone else… and the other 3 girls had walked away, leaving just him and I. He was not happy. He said to me “I was here before all of those people, this is not a way to treat a customer” on and on “Why didn’t those other girls help me, why did none of you look at me, this is really rude.” I looked him in the eye and said “You clearly have no respect for any of the four of us, how can you expect us to respect you and give you our time.” and he blew it. He went off saying that his shirt was just a joke and this and that. Did I mention I didn’t even say anything directly about his shirt, he knew that that was what I was referring to just by saying that. He ended up calling the owner of the store the next day, and explain the situation. The owner brought me into his office and told me that I did the right thing and that if anyone ever wears or says anything like that, I can tell them to get out, and that he told the man on the phone that he was “Welcome to never come back as long as he still thinks it’s okay to wear and own that shirt.”

Wow, good on the owner of the store.

And before the militant anti-social justice/”devil’s advocate” chorus strikes up (“But what would happen if he was wearing the shirt of a band you didn’t like? It’s a slippery slope! Also, what if the guy was gay and the shirt was just a joke!”), I’d like to point out that the customer is wearing a shirt that pretty openly supports his love of sexual harassment (“I still want to see them.”) and therefore poses a potential safety hazard for the female staff that have to interact with him.
Sexual harassment in retail (and any service industry, really) is so normalized that it’s almost expected (because the customer is always right, right? And it’s your job to serve them) as part of the job for female employees. Asshole customers that cop a feel, think it’s okay to flirt with/pressure you for dates, and basically make you feel as uncomfortable as they want do it largely because they know most of the time, they can get away with it. Yes, the customer “is always right” and it’s a part of the job to make/keep them happy and satisfied, but not at the expense of your own safety.

Sales associates do not exist nor are they required to service you in any capacity sexually, unless it’s explicitly arranged and you’re paying for it.
And even then, sex work is consensual.

Fuck this asshole.


[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.


Bottom Text: “…I’M JEWISH.”]

This happened several years back (I’ve since left retail) and it happened to a coworker, but we were both working at the time. Like most stores, we would say “Happy Holidays!” to customers. This one man, however, had an issue with that. My coworker told him “Happy Holidays” when she had finished ringing him up. He scoffed and said “It’s Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays! Wouldn’t you rather have someone wish YOU a Merry Christmas?” to which my coworker (truthfully) replied “…I’m Jewish.” The man then got all flustered and was able to muster a “oh-um-well-*ahem*-Happy Holidays, then.” before he scurried off.

Oh, to have been able to witness that…


This joke gets really old. And also, no, no it does not mean that.

GOD I FUCKING HATED HEARING THAT. In what fucking store does that policy even exist? STOP SAYING THAT.


[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “Black Friday nightmares.”

Bottom Text: “Has been out of retail for six months.”]

I’m pretty sure we’ve all had horrible Black Fridays. Mine last year was like my own person level of hell. Twelve hours, a visit from the DM, screaming kids, screaming parents, and a claustrophobic store.

I thought I was reliving it last night until I woke up, sat straight up in bed, and literally said out loud, “Not this year.” Oh my god, I’m so happy.

I think I might go buy coffee for random robins this year.

I hate to say this, but they never really end.


[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.



Another craft store robin here! I’ve had my share of stupid and redundant questions, but this one just about takes the cake.

I was cutting some fleece for a guest who was making some sort of blanket. Probably a tie blanket. As I’m finishing up, this couple comes up to me and the man asks me, “Do you sell fabric here?”

After cursing him out in my head for a minute, I pointed him to the entire area of fabric that I’m working in, which contains 90 million bolts of fabric (maybe not 90 million but close enough). They left and I started cutting more fabric for more guests. Not even ten minutes later, they come back. This time the wife asks me the question, “Do you sell fabric for crafts?” WELL. We ARE a craft store. I know we usually get people who are first-timers in here, but my God, open your eyes people. What you’re looking for could be right in front of you.

Like fabric.

This is one of those Robins that sums up working retail perfectly.


[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.



I work at a very popular lingerie store that shares the same name as a former British monarch. While talking with customers, we associates often hear way too much information about their personal lives and at times, their sex lives. We’ve pretty much heard it all. Recently, I rung up a woman who [very] audibly expressed (in front of me and other customers) how much she loved our cotton panties because they “…are perfect for when [she is] on her period.” TMI, much?

"….No returns, ma’am."


[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.




Hello, all!  Movie Theatre Robin here again with a rather blissful story this time.

I was given an early shift working at the concessions stand (for once), when two girls who couldn’t be any older than juniors or seniors in high school came up to the concessions stand.  I could tell by the youthfulness in their faces, behavior, and attire, though the one seemed very well-mannered for a high school student (not that most high school students aren’t well-mannered, but… yeah, most aren’t too well-mannered).

Anyway, I knew the one had to be at least 17-years of age, considering they were seeing a film which was rated R.  She ordered popcorn and asked for the butter to be layered throughout, but applied lightly.  She then explains to me that our competitor always layers their popcorn’s butter for her, and it ends up seeping through her clothes and never comes out.  They then just look at her like she’s stupid and tell her that she should have taken a few napkins.  In their defense, they’re not wrong to suggest that, but I was specifically trained my first day on the job to mind spilled butter, because then we have to pay for any dry-cleaning bills that customers send to us.  With that said, I told the girl, “That’s horrible… they should have at least offered you a spare carrying tray or reminded you to get some spare napkins.”

Things like this are why certain coffee cups and lids say “WARNING: CONTENTS HOT,” because a woman ended up suing McDonald’s for not putting that label on their McCafe cups.  In my case, I always caution customers if their bag of popcorn is hot (because a lot of them insist on having it straight out of the popper) or caution them if I spilled a little bit of butter on the bag accidentally.  I simply will not stand to have any incidents happen because of me, and then I get blamed for it, because like it or not, robins, it is not our job to allow customers to repeatedly make the same mistakes and then treat them like morons because they don’t learn.  Our job is to ensure that those mistakes do not happen at all.  For some, such as myself, it could cost us our jobs.

The girl was young, though.  She probably wasn’t used to having to think so critically about such trivial details, such as too much butter that ends up ruining your clothes.  Nevertheless, I prepared her popcorn just as she had asked, and then gave her a spare carrying tray, stating that, even though I only put a light amount of butter on, I didn’t want her to have to go through that again (she said it happened on a number of occasions).  The expression on her face and her appreciative “Thank you so much!” was one of the greatest moments of gratitude that I have ever received from a customer, and color me haughty, but I felt like that girl’s hero for going the extra mile to do something nice.

Let this be a lesson to all… we may have our fair share of really horrible customers, but for the ones that are nice enough, don’t be afraid to go the extra mile.  You may just make their day, and their potential gratitude may just make yours.

TL;DR: A customer asked for her popcorn to be lightly buttered after terrible experiences with it seeping into her clothes.  I lightly buttered it, just as she asked, and then gave her a spare carrying tray to ensure that another incident did not happen again, eliciting a hugely thankful response from her.

(Mod note: McDonalds was sued by an elderly lady who suffered (trigger warning for the squeemish) 3rd degree burns because of McDonalds hot coffee and needed skin graphs over 6 percent of her body. McDonalds was brewing their coffee at nearly 200 degrees which can give you a 3rd degree burn in two to seven seconds. Coffee brewed at home is typically brewed at 130 degrees. The woman only wanted her medical bills paid and even tried to settle for $20,000 at one point, but McDonalds still refused. So her case went to court and she was awarded about $200,000, but they decided she was 20% at fault and docked $40,000 from her payout.

So there. Now you are more educated and there is no way spilling butter on your clothes and expecting the company to pay for your dry-cleaning bill is anything remotely similar to the McDonalds lawsuit.)

This was indeed a sweet story, but I reblogged for the mod note (bolding mine) since the McDonalds coffee story is almost an urban legend at this point (“Some lady got a million dollars in a lawsuit from McDonalds just ‘cause her coffee was too hot!”).


[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “I’m never shopping here again!”

Bottom Text: “Do you promise????”]

Whenever I hear or see the top phrase, the bottom is immediately what I think in response. If you don’t like the policies/pricing/whatever, by all means, take your attitude/business elsewhere so we can continue our jobs (which by the way have no power to even change the things you’re complaining about. We’re seriously the bottom tier and there’s no point in yelling at us). 

And yet, they ALWAYS. COME. BACK. Don’t get my hopes up like that and just go back on what you said. We had a deal.

Bolding mine, since that’s what made me laugh the hardest.

Whenever I had a customer tell me (or someone else but make it clear it was in earshot)
I wanted to get it in writing and have it notarized.